Critical Tools

The life skills made possible by each of the 5 Resilience FACETs.

 

FACET: FLUIDITY

Anticipating: Every problem is an opportunity to consider if the 'threat' is real or imagined, allowing us to respond with a greater range of options. Looking forward also means planning and preparing for the next stages of life.

For Example: The last time I had this conversation with my friend I felt offended, but I realize it was because of my own insecurity and not what was said to me. 

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: Am I fully considering what is an actual threat?

Cultural Symbol: Scarab Beetle- holds ancient Egyptian significance as symbols of resilience and transformation. In Egyptian mythology, the beetle was associated with the sun god Ra, representing the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. The scarab beetle’s ability to roll dung into a ball symbolized the sun’s daily journey across the sky. They buried this ball underground as a food supply. This connection to cyclical renewal and transformation makes the scarab beetle a powerful symbol of resilience in the face of life’s inevitable changes.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): One notable character who demonstrates great anticipation of threats is Katniss Everdeen from "The Hunger Games." Throughout the series, she is constantly aware of the dangers posed by both the Capitol and other competitors, using her instincts and survival skills to navigate the perilous environment. Her ability to anticipate threats not only keeps her alive but also drives the narrative as she becomes a symbol of resistance against oppression.

Sample Plan:

  1. Consider the last couple of times you became defensive and question whether the ‘threat’ was as severe in retrospect.
  2. Come up with a song that reminds you key question to anticipate the consequences of your reactions the next time you get defensive (to help you act rather than react).
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. One hour of one day or for an entire week)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. create a list of sample real vs perceived threats this past month)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Balancing: Juggling numerous responsibilities involves nimble dexterity as well as "skills we develop with practice. As we more effortlessly keep more balls with the acknowledgment that sometimes they will fall, we lessen the strain for seeking perfection.

For Example: While rushing out of work to get my kids to their activities, knowing dinner still needs to be made and the laundry is piling up, but recognizing it cannot all be done well (by myself).

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How well can I balance multiple stressors, by better using my support system to help me juggle.?

Cultural Symbol: Yin & Yang- In Chinese philosophy, symbolizes balance and the inter-connectedness of opposite forces. Representing the dualities inherent in life, such as light and dark, the symbol underscores the notion that resilience arises from harmony and equilibrium. The dynamic interplay of Yin and Yang illustrates the cyclical nature of challenges and the constant need for balance to navigate through them.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): A great example of a character who shows a strong balance of responsibilities is Peter Parker, a.k.a. Spider-Man, from the "Spider-Man" movies. Throughout the films, Peter juggles his personal life, academic responsibilities, and his duties as a superhero. He often faces challenges that force him to prioritize his commitments, whether it's caring for Aunt May, maintaining his friendships, or fighting crime to protect his city. This struggle to balance his dual life adds depth to his character and resonates with many viewers.

Sample Plan:

  1. Juggling dexterity improves with practice, remaining calm with sustained focus. 
  2. A day you are engaged in moderate multitasking pay close attention to reducing tension by staying loose.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. One hour of one day or for an entire week)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. identify your optimal arousal level to complete your tasks without too much stress)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Being: We maintain realistic hopes and ambitions tempered with what’s possible today. We avoid overextending, remembering to live in the here and now.

For Example: I really want to get all of my grading done so i can relax, but recognize there is more work than time. So I take short breaks to appreciate the importance of being an educator.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: Can i be mindful of what is practical as opposed to what is possible?

Cultural Symbol: Water- A universal representation of life since no plant or animal can live without it. Spiritually, water invokes ideas of purification, rejuvenation, and transformation. Bruce Lee, the famous martial artist used water to suggest being formless, not trapped in a specific mindset.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): A strong example of a character with great self-awareness and an understanding of their limitations is Andy Dufresne from "The Shawshank Redemption." Throughout the film, Andy demonstrates a keen awareness of his situation in prison and the constraints he faces. He learns to navigate his environment thoughtfully, focusing on the present and making the most of his circumstances. His ability to adapt and find hope amid adversity highlights his self-awareness and resilience, ultimately leading to his escape and freedom.

Sample Plan:

  1. When do I have the most difficult time staying within myself, looking too far ahead causing tension?
  2. Plan for the next time I’m getting too far ahead, with a reminder note, token or quote to live in the moment.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. One hour of one day or for an entire week)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. recognize overextending and return to a more realistic set of expectations)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Grounding: The awareness to center oneself when chaos ensues, using nature, breathing, meditation and other relaxation strategies to remain firmly anchored in the present. This skill prevents our 'engines' from overheating.

For Example: When life becomes stressful, closing the door and turning on music reminds us to breathe slowly and deeply.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: Am I able to temporarily quiet my brain so I can listen to my body to translate sensations into feelings?

Cultural Symbol: Anchor- a symbol of stability and steadfastness, particularly in the context of maritime traditions. Anchors are used to keep ships grounded, preventing them from drifting in turbulent waters. This symbol has been adopted to represent resilience in various cultural contexts. The anchor signifies the ability to stay rooted and stable in the face of life’s storms and uncertainties. Just as an anchor provides security to a ship, it serves as a metaphor for the inner strength that individuals can harness to navigate challenges and remain resilient in the face of adversity.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): A great example of a character who uses grounding techniques is Dr. Stephen Strange from "Doctor Strange." Throughout the film, he learns to use meditation and mindfulness practices to center himself, especially as he navigates the complexities of the mystical arts. These techniques help him manage stress and maintain focus during intense situations, allowing him to tap into his inner strength and clarity when facing formidable challenges.

Sample Plan:

  1. When I get into my head, do I forget to pay attention to my body where calmness is generated?
  2. Stop, drop and roll means to get out of my head, get into my body, and take an action that helps me feel more peaceful (i.e. hold a deep breath for four seconds).
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. One hour of one day or for an entire week)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. learn one new breathing technique to slow hear rate)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Progressing: As opposed to feeling at ease, we also want to know we are moving forward. If we actively engage in transforming ourselves into more evolved human beings, we will better tolerate periods of regression.

For Example: We can shed labels or categories to describe ourselves, recognizing that we exist along continuums, leaning toward different polarities over time.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: Am I aware of where we are along the continuum between accepting who we are and making changes?

Cultural Symbol: Helix- characterized by its spiral or coiled structure, is often a symbol for resilience due to its dynamic and continuous form. Resilience, like the helix, is a continuous process of adaptation and growth. The ability to navigate and evolve through life’s challenges is symbolized by the perpetual motion of the helix.

Movie Example (Chat GBT): A compelling example of a character focused on self-improvement is Andy Sachs from "The Devil Wears Prada." Throughout the film, Andy transforms from a naive, unsure young woman into a more confident and assertive individual as she navigates the high-pressure world of fashion. While she initially struggles with the demands of her job and the impact it has on her values, she ultimately learns to balance ambition with her personal integrity, emerging as a stronger version of herself. Her journey reflects a continuous effort to grow and define what success means to her.

Sample Plan:

  1. When we feel stuck in my life, it may be because I’ve become complacent about growth or ambivalent around next steps.
  2. What is one small path I can begin today to grow as a person, such as finding humor in absurdity?
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. imagining putting this tool into practice feeling excited about the result)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

FACET: AMITY

Accepting: Recognizing that we have limited influence over others and events, allowing us to let go of control, accepting undesirable outcomes. The important part of life is to focus on how we are approaching challenges, not outcomes, becoming more peaceful.

For Example: A person realizes their work is not likely to improve in the short term, drawing satisfaction from their efforts as opposed to the outcome.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How quickly do we get over disappointment?

Cultural Symbol: Kintsugi- an ancient Japanese art form, involves repairing broken pottery using lacquer mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. This technique not only restores the object but also highlights its fractures, turning them into unique and beautiful features. Kintsugi is deeply rooted in the philosophy of embracing imperfections and acknowledging the history of an object. As a symbol of resilience, Kintsugi teaches that healing and transformation can occur through acknowledging and embracing our scars, both physical and emotional. It celebrates the strength that comes from embracing one’s brokenness and emerging with newfound beauty and resilience.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): A great example of a character who exemplifies accepting their limited influence and letting go of control is Ellis Redding from "The Shawshank Redemption." Throughout the film, Ellis, also known as "Red," learns to accept his situation in prison and realizes that some things are beyond his control. His journey involves letting go of the need to influence every outcome, finding peace in the present, and ultimately embracing hope. This acceptance plays a crucial role in his character development and his relationship with Andy Dufresne.

Sample Plan:

  1. It can be difficult finding acceptance when someone or something seems wrong or unfair to us.
  2.  Make a timeline to let go of one unfairness or injustice to free myself of anger.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. consider how the saved energy can be reallocated)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Accommodating: How we manage the negotiation between our own needs and those of others. Sacrifice
for the benefit of others and moderate bending makes us more flexible promoting reciprocity.

For Example: If we are asked to take on more responsibility at home or work, which we do because we
wish to be helpful, paving the way for increased gratitude.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How well do we consider other's feelings in contrast with our own?

Cultural Symbol: Aloe Vera Plant- is often regarded as a symbol of resilience due to its unique nature and the various ways in which it thrives in challenging conditions. Aloe vera is known for its ability to thrive in arid and challenging environments. Its succulent leaves store water, allowing it to survive in conditions where many other plants would struggle. This adaptability reflects resilience in the face of adversity, as aloe vera can endure and even flourish in environments that are less than ideal.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): A compelling movie that features a character negotiating their own needs with others is "The Intern" (2015), directed by Nancy Meyers and starring Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway. In the film, Ben Whittaker (played by Robert De Niro) is a 70-year-old widower who becomes an intern at a trendy online fashion retailer founded by Jules Ostin (played by Anne Hathaway). As Ben settles into his role, he finds himself in a position where he must negotiate not only his own needs for respect and purpose but also the needs of Jules, who is overwhelmed with the demands of running her business.

Sample Plan:

  1. We can recharge our battery with simple acts of kindness that don’t deplete us.
  2. Decide on one small act of kindness that helps another person get a want or a need met, then act on it.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. reminding yourself what it feels like to have a want or need met)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Hoping: Optimism for new opportunities in the face of adversity, through strong values, helps to reduce tension that erodes our fortitude. Finding something to look forward to or positioning ourselves for good things to happen even during the worst storms.

For Example: A belief that the law of averages means life has to get easier at some point helps us look for the rainbow, easing our fixation on our current burdens.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: Can I remain hopeful even during the worst life has to offer?

Cultural Symbol: Lighthouse- stands as a powerful symbol of resilience, often associated with guidance and hope during tumultuous times. Positioned on rocky shores, lighthouses illuminate the way for ships, offering a beacon of light that symbolizes safety and direction. In the face of storms and darkness, the lighthouse remains steadfast, representing resilience as a guiding force through life’s challenges. It inspires the notion that even in the darkest moments, resilience can serve as a guiding light, leading individuals to safety and a brighter future.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): A strong example of a character who exemplifies optimism in the face of adversity is Nelson Mandela in "Invictus." The film depicts Mandela's efforts to unite a divided South Africa post-apartheid, focusing on the 1995 Rugby World Cup as a symbol of hope and reconciliation. Despite the immense challenges and opposition he faces, Mandela remains steadfastly optimistic, believing in the power of sport to bring people together and foster a new national identity. His unwavering hope and determination inspire those around him, making him a powerful representation of resilience and positivity.

Sample Plan:

  1. If life has seemed unkind or burdensome, we may lose hope that keeps us open to the world.
  2. Turn one small flicker of possibility into a full fledged wish.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. once, over the course of a day or week)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. what does your wish specifically involve?)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Forgiving: Letting go of resentment when wronged by others, lessens unfinished business. Even if the other person does not take ownership, we can let go of our anger to prevent the accumulation of toxic resentment. 

Even if the other person does not take ownership, we can let go of our anger to prevent the accumulation of toxic resentment.

For Example: A significant other takes their anger out on you when it clearly had nothing to do with anything you said or did. You don’t personalize the experience, recognizing their humanness.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How easily can you let go without giving permission to treat us poorly?

Cultural Symbol: Adinkra- symbol from West Africa, represents strength and resilience. Depicting a ram’s horns, it symbolizes humility, strength, and the ability to overcome adversity. The ram, known for its tenacity, serves as a reminder that resilience is not solely about physical strength but also about the inner fortitude needed to face challenges with grace and humility.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): A movie that exemplifies forgiveness and letting go of resentment is "The Straight Story" (1999), directed by David Lynch. This film is based on the true story of Alvin Straight, an elderly man who embarks on a journey across several states on a lawnmower to reconcile with his estranged brother, Lyle, who has suffered a stroke.

Sample Plan:

  1. Holding grudges or maintaining resentment for somebody’s choices is different from breaking contact with them.
  2.  Identify one old or current upset that is causing you to stew in toxic energy.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. decide what hurt to let go of or describe what forgiveness would look like)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Valuing: Being grateful for who and what we have, including how our values have guided us. Celebrating our accomplishments and appreciating our collective strength can keep our outlook optimistic.

For Example: A person feels stuck in an unfulfilling marriage but works to remember what attracted them to their partner and how they have overcome challenges together.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How easily can we show grace during times of distress?

Cultural Symbol: Raised Fist- The image of raised fists in solidarity has deep historical roots and is a powerful symbol of resilience, unity, and collective strength. This symbol has been used in various contexts, from political movements to protests, and its meaning is often shaped by the historical events and propaganda associated with it. The raised fist became an iconic symbol during the civil rights movements of the 1960s in the United States. African American activists, such as those in the Black Power movement, used the raised fist as a gesture of solidarity and resistance against racial injustice. The image conveyed a sense of empowerment and resilience in the face of systemic oppression.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): A great movie that depicts gratitude and appreciating our strengths is "The Pursuit of Happyness" (2006), directed by Gabriele Muccino and starring Will Smith. This film is based on the true story of Chris Gardner, a man who faces overwhelming struggles, including homelessness, while raising his young son and trying to make a better life for them.

Sample Plan:

  1. No matter how difficult our life becomes, we can often find solace by appreciating good moments, qualities, or conditions.
  2. List several aspects of who you are or what you have, to celebrate good fortune when feeling despair.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. how long or how detailed your list, video, or nostalgia)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

FACET: CAPACITY

Containing: Our brain and body store energy, information, memories, feelings, and experiences, requiring organization of that material to remain viable. If we store well, accurately labeling information, we will recall with objectivity.

For Example: If we remember that we are getting sick on a day we tried a new food, our memory will include a footnote that our experience may be tainted.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How well do we prevent bias, prejudgment, and assumptions by considering the way we store information.

Cultural Symbol: Battery- An international symbol for storing energy to be converted into a power supply. They come in many shapes and sizes, many rechargeable and easily storable. 

Movie Example (ChatGBT): A great movie that explores how we remember experiences in a way that promotes objectivity and reduces bias is "12 Angry Men" (1957), directed by Sidney Lumet. This classic film takes place almost entirely in a jury deliberation room, where twelve jurors must decide the fate of a young man accused of murder. As the film progresses, it becomes clear that many of the jurors' initial judgments are based on personal biases, emotional reactions, and preconceived notions rather than an objective view of the evidence. 

Sample Plan:

  1. Consider an unpleasant memory you have and consider what other elements may have influenced your distaste.
  2. Try and store that same memory in a different way that helps you feel differently toward the event, person or experience.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. how much energy can you free up by storing experiences with more positive labels)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Fortifying: Replacing defense mechanisms with more constructive protective barriers requires emotional and physical conditioning. This requires an active process for reminding ourselves we want to be intentional about how we respond.

For Example: Being curious rather than dismissive, for instance when someone is unkind, allows us to consider a person’s motivations in addition to their actions.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How quickly can we stop ourselves from getting defensive?

Cultural Symbol: Turtle- often depicted as slow and steady, carries its home on its back, symbolizing resilience and protection. In various cultures, the turtle represents longevity and the ability to navigate both land and water. Despite its gradual pace, the turtle exemplifies resilience by persistently moving forward, emphasizing the importance of steadiness and endurance in overcoming challenges.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): A movie that showcases a character learning to be less defensive is *"Good Will Hunting"* (1997), directed by Gus Van Sant and written by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. Throughout the movie, Will’s brilliance is contrasted by his inability to open up emotionally and his tendency to push people away when they try to help or get close to him. His defensiveness is a shield he uses to avoid dealing with his inner pain and vulnerability. *"Good Will Hunting"* is a powerful exploration of how we use defensiveness to guard against pain, and how true healing comes when we let go of that shield and allow ourselves to be open to help and connection.

Sample Plan:

  1. Guarding ourselves is less necessary if we are confident and curious.
  2. Identify one protective mechanisms (i.e. humor, denial, projection, avoidance) often used you can replace with a more constructive element like curiosity.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. 50% of the time you will use the new element when feeling guarded)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Layering: Approaching complex tasks in stages, prevents us from feeling overwhelmed. We may not get it all finished today but we feel confident about what we have accomplished with a plan to continue working.

For Example: When I learn that my responsibilities are significantly changing, I break down the work into manageable components spread out over time.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How well can i break work into parts so i don't get overwhelmed?

Cultural Symbol: Rock:-The symbol of embodies stability and endurance. Rocks are enduring and unyielding, standing firm against the forces of nature. Their steadfastness in the face of external pressures and their ability to weather the passage of time make them a powerful representation of resilience. The resilience of a rock lies in its unwavering nature, providing a stable foundation even in the midst of turbulence. 

Movie Example (ChatGBT): A movie that portrays a character breaking down complex tasks into stages to avoid feeling overwhelmed is "The Martian" (2015), directed by Ridley Scott and based on the novel by Andy Weir. The film stars Matt Damon as Mark Watney, an astronaut who is stranded on Mars after his crew mistakenly believes he has died during a mission. Faced with the monumental task of surviving alone on an uninhabitable planet, Watney quickly realizes that he can't afford to let the enormity of his situation paralyze him. Instead, he approaches survival by breaking down the overwhelming challenges into manageable steps. 

Sample Plan:

  1. We can prevent extra stress by chunking pieces of a larger project.
  2. Experiment with my next complex project by breaking it into at least three different stages.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. rate the experiment in terms of stress against what we would have done without the stages)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Producing: Being productive is a reliable way to fend off distress while growing our confidence. Speed, efficiency, and durability are balanced with simply being peaceful. For example: If I read the first few pages of a new book before I put it down, I still feel accomplished.

For Example: Even a small 'win' helps generate momentum and prevents me from feeling stuck.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How well can i channel my upset into meaningful action?

Cultural Symbol: Oak Tree- Throughout human history, oak trees have acquired a powerful symbolic significance, representing resilience, strength, stability, endurance, and fertility. Producing acorns to proliferate is how it ensures long term survival.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): A notable film that illustrates a character managing stress through productivity is *"Cast Away"* (2000), directed by Robert Zemeckis and starring Tom Hanks. The story follows Chuck Noland, a FedEx executive who becomes the sole survivor of a plane crash, leaving him stranded on a deserted island. Initially, Chuck faces immense stress and despair due to his isolation and the challenges of survival. However, he soon realizes that succumbing to panic won't aid his situation. To cope, Chuck immerses himself in productive activities: he constructs a shelter, devises methods to collect water, and learns to fish. By focusing on these tasks, he not only ensures his physical survival but also maintains his mental well-being. His productivity becomes a therapeutic mechanism, allowing him to manage the overwhelming stress of his predicament.

Sample Plan:

  1. Our resilience is diminished when we are working from a deficit, meaning we always feel like we are keeping up or getting behind.
  2. Add one achievable task to our day we will feel accomplished by, even if it is small.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. feeling productive can be measured on a simple 1-10 scale)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Tolerating: Our threshold for discomfort determines our range of choices. The more unpleasantness we can endure without harm, the more likely we can be patient and purposeful when making decisions undress duress.

For Example: If a co-worker is undergoing difficulties, making them less pleasant to be around, not personalizing their behavior can help us remain more patient.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: What is my threshold for discomfort?

Cultural Symbol: Camel- The spirit animal is a powerful symbol of adaptability, endurance, and patience. Just like the camel navigates through harsh desert conditions, the camel spirit animal teaches us to persevere through life's challenges and remain steadfast in our goals. The camel is known for carrying heavy loads over long distances, able to store water for their journey.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): A powerful movie about a character enduring great distress but ultimately overcoming it is "The Shawshank Redemption" (1994), directed by Frank Darabont and based on a novella by Stephen King. The film tells the story of Andy Dufresne (played by Tim Robbins), a man wrongly convicted of murder and sentenced to life in Shawshank State Penitentiary. Despite facing immense hardship, including brutal treatment by both inmates and corrupt prison guards, Andy maintains his hope and resilience.

Sample Plan:

  1. Elevating our capacity for distress will allow us to be more intentional and less impulsive.
  2. Design a chart that assigns stress ‘weights’ to different challenges in your life so you can track the average amount you can tolerate.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. use a baseline # to contrast your growth over your experiment)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

FACET: ELASTICITY

Bending: We learn to distinguish wants and needs, with degrees of importance. Moving from rigidity to flexibility lowers stress and grows nimbleness.

For Example: The ‘bend but don’t break’, saying from professional sports translates to discerning between what we absolutely need versus what we can live without, helping us to be more realistic.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How quickly can I distinguish a want from a need?

Cultural Symbol: Bamboo- with its remarkable strength and flexibility, serves as a potent symbol of resilience. Despite its slender appearance, bamboo can endure significant pressure and bend without breaking. This quality represents adaptability and the ability to weather adversity while maintaining integrity. Bamboo’s rapid growth further reinforces it as a symbol for resilience, demonstrating the capacity to thrive in challenging conditions. Culturally, bamboo is revered in many Asian traditions for its symbolism of strength, resilience, and longevity.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): A great movie that explores the realization of wants versus needs is "Eat Pray Love" (2010), directed by Ryan Murphy and based on the memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert. The film stars Julia Roberts as Liz, a woman who embarks on a journey of self-discovery after going through a difficult divorce. Initially, Liz is caught up in the desires of her life—career success, a seemingly ideal marriage, and societal expectations. However, after a period of deep reflection, she realizes that these wants do not fulfill her deeper needs for happiness, peace, and connection. 

Sample Plan:

  1. If we distinguish between a must have and a nice to have, we can save ourselves anguish.
  2. Identify when being rigid drains your of energy (and consider why you stay inflexible).
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. how does it feel in your body to be more flexible?)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Considering: By considering new information with openness and curiosity, we become more pliable.  By modifying our expectations or widening our perspective, we better adjust, stretching our view to consider more data.

For Example: Being patient with an unusual suggestion, analyzing and synthesizing the data before forming an opinion, saves us from being too reactive.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How open are we to evolving our perspective?

Cultural Symbol: Dandelion- often considered a weed, thrives in adverse conditions and is a symbol of resilience and adaptability. Its delicate seeds disperse easily, finding new ground to take root. The dandelion teaches the lesson that resilience can be found in unexpected places, and even in the face of adversity, there is potential for growth and the spread of positivity.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): A great movie that features a character learning to consider new information and becoming more pliable is The Blind Side (2009), directed by John Lee Hancock and starring Sandra Bullock, Quinton Aaron, and Tim McGraw. The film is based on the true story of Michael Oher, a homeless African American teenager who is taken in by the Tuohy family, particularly by Leigh Anne Tuohy (played by Sandra Bullock). Initially, Michael struggles to adapt to his new environment and faces numerous challenges, including his lack of formal education and the biases of others. As Leigh Anne and her family welcome Michael into their home, they introduce him to a different way of life, encouraging him to be open to new experiences and perspectives. Michael learns to navigate the world outside of his previous circumstances, including the world of football, where he discovers his own potential. 

Sample Plan:

  1. Consider how much information we miss by always listening through the same filter.
  2. Take an extra ten seconds to listen to each person sharing to hear their underlying motive or message.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. how much extra time did you average closer listening and what was gained?)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Framing: As we learn to look at life through different lenses, we can identify opportunities to replace pain and disappointment. It is how we view a challenge that allows us to re-imagine it as an opportunity for growth.

For Example: If dating seems daunting because there seems to be an endless supply of dead ends, we
improve our identity by realizing how special we are.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How well can we shift our lens to find opportunities in unpleasantness?

Cultural Symbol: Lotus Flower- originating in ancient Egyptian and Indian cultures, holds profound symbolism for resilience. Despite its growth in muddy waters, the lotus emerges immaculate and beautiful, symbolizing purity, enlightenment, and the triumph of beauty over adversity. In Hinduism and Buddhism, the lotus is associated with spiritual growth and the journey to enlightenment. Its ability to rise above the murky waters to blossom in pristine beauty reflects the human capacity to overcome life’s challenges and emerge with resilience, grace, and strength.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): A character that exemplifies viewing life through different lenses and turning challenges into opportunities is **Forrest Gump** from the movie *Forrest Gump* (1994). Forrest, despite facing numerous personal challenges such as a low IQ and physical disabilities, approaches life with an optimistic and open-minded attitude. He sees the world in a uniquely innocent and simple way, which allows him to embrace each obstacle and transform it into an opportunity. 

Sample Plan:

  1. Seeing a challenge from the same perspective limits our creative problem solving.
  2. Invite three people we are dissimilar to, to offer a new way to perceive an issue we are exploring.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. How receptive we can be to another perspective?)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Pivoting: When opportunities for success require a shift in activity, we relinquish hold of initial objectives in favor of new directions. This requires versatility.

For Example: If we are teaching a particular skill and our lesson is not being absorbed, can we change our approach in a way that invites different interpretation of the information?

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How quickly can we reroute to be more successful?

Cultural Symbol: Chess Pawn- serves as a powerful symbol of resilience due to its unique characteristics and role in the game. Pawns move forward, representing progress and resilience in the face of challenges. In chess, pawns advance step by step, symbolizing the incremental progress that resilience often requires. Despite their limited initial mobility, pawns have the potential to reach the opponent’s back rank and be promoted to a more powerful piece if they successfully navigate the challenges. This mirrors the concept that resilience can lead to personal growth and transformation, turning challenges into opportunities for positive change.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): Slumdog Millionaire (2008) is a British-Indian drama film directed by Danny Boyle that tells the story of Jamal Malik, an 18-year-old boy from the slums of Mumbai, who ends up as a contestant on the Indian version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Jamal overcomes adversity through his resilience, resourcefulness, and unwavering hope. His ability to pivot allows him to escape exploitation, maintaining hope. His resilience allows him to turn his painful past into a source of power, leading to his ultimate success.

Sample Plan:

  1. How do we know when it’s time to push through or change our approach?
  2. The next time you encounter a ‘wall’, how will I remember to try something new?
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. having a plan in place to remind ourselves to shift direction)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback

 

Solving: How we problem solve for short- term resolution and long- term growth. Expanding our remedy from immediate relief to align with our values, turns solutions into life lessons.

For Example: We are tempted to ‘agree to disagree’ with somebody, but instead we delve deeper into their explanation. We focus less on agreement and more on understanding why this is important to them.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How create are we in problem solving?

Cultural Symbol: Celtic Knot- with its looping and weaving, creates a structure that is difficult to unravel. This infinite looping suggests a sense of enduring strength and tenacity. In the face of adversity, the Celtic knot symbolizes the ability to withstand difficulties and remain intact. The intricate patterns of the Celtic knot may also be seen as a metaphor for adaptability. Resilience is the capacity to adapt to changing circumstances, and the knot’s flexible design can be seen as a representation of the ability to navigate challenges with flexibility and creativity.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): Moneyball, directed by Bennett Miller, is based on the true story of Billy Beane (played by Brad Pitt), the general manager of the Oakland Athletics baseball team, who uses an unconventional approach to rebuild a competitive team with a limited budget. He partners with Peter Brand (Jonah Hill), a Yale economics graduate, who introduces him to the concept of sabermetrics—using data and statistics to value players differently than the traditional scouting system.

Sample Plan:

  1. We tend to solve problems using similar thought processes and strategies, which may restrict growth.
  2. Identify a problem solving approach you seldom employ and identify what gains you may be sacrificing.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. did you add to your repertoire of problem solving techniques?)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

FACET: TENACITY

Challenging: When we accept the status quo, we may erode our investment over time. By taking a constructive leadership role in creating change, we become pioneers who find new paths to success.

For Example: If we don’t like the direction our organization is headed, we become a change agent by engaging in cooperative discussions promoting creative ideas for innovation.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How well do we challenge norms stimulating a constructive exploration of differences?

Cultural Symbol: Badge- The Native Americans believed that this animal is the embodies abilities to overcome challenges, as they are unyielding in the face of danger, tenacity, courage, fighting for your rights, and defending spiritual ideas. The badger symbolizes tenacity, cleverness, security, friendship, and gratitude. badgers are diligent and hardworking, and they don’t give up until the task is done. Badgers dig complex tunnel systems where they live. Plus, they’re capable of digging extremely fast when chasing prey. In addition, badgers are known to have a resistance to snake venom, so even if bitten by a snake, they are undaunted in their pursuit.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): Hidden Figures, directed by Theodore Melfi, tells the true story of three African-American women—Katherine Johnson (played by Taraji P. Henson), Dorothy Vaughan (Octavia Spencer), and Mary Jackson (Janelle Monáe)—who worked at NASA during the Space Race in the 1960s. Despite facing racial and gender discrimination, these women played pivotal roles in America’s efforts to send astronauts into space, ultimately contributing to John Glenn’s historic orbital flight.

Sample Plan:

  1. Change agents experience a different type of stress that is less degrading than those who are passive.
  2. Decide on one issue to advocate for and how you can do so constructively.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. Ask two people how they experience you in this leadership role)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Enduring: Setbacks are a part of achieving long- range objectives. Keeping a firm grip on our vision requires meaningful support from others. If we keep people close to us, nurturing those relationships, they can hold us accountable, and lend their support.

For Example: I have already made several mistakes with a new task requiring me to start over again, but I ventilate my aggravation to a friend who implores me to keep going.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How quickly can we mobilize support to improve our emotional stamina?

Cultural Symbol: Mountain- are often associated with resilience because of their enduring and stable nature. They withstand the forces of nature, including weathering, erosion, and seismic activity, standing tall over long periods. This enduring quality is a metaphor for the resilience required to withstand life’s challenges. Climbing a mountain is a metaphor for facing and conquering difficulties. The steep slopes, unpredictable weather, and physical exertion required to ascend a mountain parallel the challenges one might encounter in life. The triumph of reaching the summit represents resilience and determination.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): The Social Network chronicles the rise of Mark Zuckerberg (played by Jesse Eisenberg) as he creates Facebook, one of the most influential social media platforms. The movie focuses on Zuckerberg’s ambition, the obstacles he faces, and the crucial role relationships play in his journey to success. However, it also shows how his pursuit of a singular vision strains and damages the relationships that initially supported him.

Sample Plan:

  1. How we handle setbacks mentally and emotionally determines how easily we bounce back.
  2. Identify one often used negative self-talk statement or burdensome feeling and establish a plan to overcome it.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. how many people have we asked for help from on this goal?)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback.

 

Fueling: Like running a marathon, chronic stress requires that we consistently fuel our body to maintain energy. Nutrition and hydration nourish our body while evolving values, intimacy, and passion replenish our will.

For Example: It is helpful if we slow down to drink fluids during a prolonged activity, but even better if we have eaten healthy the entire month in advance of the event.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How easily do I produce new energy?

Cultural Symbol: Sisu: Sisu- is a Finnish term that encapsulates a unique blend of determination, resilience, and courage in the face of adversity. It goes beyond mere persistence; it embodies a kind of stoic resilience, an inner strength that enables individuals to persevere in the most challenging circumstances. Rooted in Finnish culture, sisu is a source of pride and a symbol of the tenacity required to confront and overcome life’s obstacles. The concept emphasizes a resilient mindset that empowers individuals to face difficulties with sustainable courage, resolve, and an unwavering spirit.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): Burnt follows Adam Jones (Bradley Cooper), a once-famous chef who fell from grace due to substance abuse and reckless behavior. After hitting rock bottom, Adam is determined to redeem himself by achieving a third Michelin star, the pinnacle of culinary success. The movie focuses on his intense, high-pressure return to the kitchen, where he faces enormous stress as he tries to rebuild his career and personal life.

Sample Plan:

 

Pacing: We continuously balance time and energy, adjusting our speed as needed. Knowing when to slow down allows us to navigate with reserves to prevent fatigue turning into exhaustion.

For Example: How quickly we speak, eat or drive all represent our pacing. Do we need to speed up or slow down to be more efficient in how we spend energy?

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: Do we know when to slow down and when to speed up without much deliberation?

Cultural Symbol: Elephant- are often regarded as powerful symbols of resilience due to their strong family bonds and social structures. They live in tight-knit family groups led by a matriarch. This social cohesion is a testament to resilience, as elephants rely on each other for support and protection. The way they care for their young and work together to overcome challenges reflects the strength derived from unity. They adapt to changing environments and learn from past experiences, showcasing resilience through their capacity for problem-solving and adapting to new situations.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): Creed follows Adonis Johnson (played by Michael B. Jordan), the son of the legendary boxer Apollo Creed, as he strives to make a name for himself in the world of boxing. Adonis seeks out Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) to train him, and the film explores his journey to becoming a top-tier fighter while balancing the physical, mental, and emotional demands of his ambition.

Sample Plan:

 

Persevering: Even when faced with unfavorable chances, the mental, emotional, and physical will to endure keeps us going. We look at these obstacles as challenges to be conquered, relying on our stamina and toughness, improving our self-worth.

For Example: We begin exercising again following a prolonged hiatus. We are tired, sore, and annoyed by having to start over, but we will ourselves into continuing.

Barriers & Benefits: Consider the main reasons for how we are currently and what the upside is to making a change. Until the benefits outweigh the barriers, we aren't likely to take action.

Key Question: How easily can we push ourselves through obstacles?

Cultural Symbol: Phoenix- is not confined to Greek mythology alone; variations of this majestic bird appear in diverse cultural narratives, such as Roman, Egyptian, and Chinese mythologies. In each context, the phoenix is always a powerful symbol of resilience, and the capacity to overcome challenges through transformative rebirth. A symbol of cyclical renewal and immortality.

Movie Example (ChatGBT): Chariots of Fire is based on the true story of two British athletes, Eric Liddell (played by Ian Charleson) and Harold Abrahams (Ben Cross), who compete in the 1924 Paris Olympics. The film explores their backgrounds, motivations, and the challenges they face in their pursuit of Olympic glory, emphasizing themes of faith, determination, and the quest for personal excellence.

Sample Plan:

  1. When are you most likely to give up? Knowing the risk factors for quitting can tell you what’s needed to push on.
  2. Improve your emotional toughness by identifying which feeling is most unpleasant for you and determining why.
  3. Establish a time period for your experiment (i.e. one day, one week, or one month)
  4. Decide your success metric (i.e. determining which feeling is most unpleasant for you)
  5. Ask 1-3 people to help you put this plan into action, with support and feedback